almost 31 weeks!

well, things have taken a slight turn since my last blog post.

28 weeks:
my OB noticed during my cervical check that i was 1 cm dilated. we kind of all got very nervous and she sent me for a full ultrasound to check cervical length (normal at 3.5), baby's growth (totally fine, 62%tile) and an NST (also normal). So the good news is that all looks normal and the question really is, why am I dilating so early!? i never had this problem with my last pregnancy and in that pregnancy my son and i had a lot of problems. my OB doesn't know if this is normal for me because its my 2nd pregnancy or if i am really at risk for preterm labor. hopefully its the first thing and my body actually knows what it is doing. but, this has led to now weekly visits at the OB to check my cervix (it hasn't gotten worse, in fact it got better to less than 1 cm), advil which relaxes muscles and slows contractions, drinking lots of water, and staying off my feet (they don't do bedrest anymore?!?).

29 weeks:
hanging in here, trying to take it easy. i am definitely more aware of my contractions now. i've gone in to L&D triage a couple times now, once for some mucus (which can be a sign of labor) and a second time for a weird pelvic cramping pain, all of which turned out to be nothing.

30 weeks:
I had to stop taking advil because my amniotic fluid was low normal (7), and then after a spate of contractions i got put on nifedipine. i was also on this last pregnancy for contractions.  went in to L&D triage again for a bigger chunk of mucus, but again, nothing, and my amniotic fluid is back to regular normal (9). Which brings me to today...

30w7d:
I'm so relieved to be just about 31 weeks. trying to count my blessings:

• we have an amazing and healthy boy who survived a very difficult pregnancy! reading my old posts really kind of scare me and i can't believe what we went through. 
• we are going to have a 2nd baby and she is strong, smart and healthy. 
• i have a wonderful husband who is taking care of me and my son during all of this, pulling extra weight and not complaining. 
• we made it to 28 weeks without a problem (4 more weeks of peace than last time)

it is so easy for me to fall into negativity and anxiety and to feel angry at the world for not letting things go easy for once. i'm trying really hard to stay focused but it is not easy. trying to keep the end game in mind - beautiful, healthy baby.