5dpo and counting...

i hate waiting and i hate surprises! just ask my husband, he knows too well that i can't wait for anything and i'm totally impatient when it comes to presents and secrets! i like to be in on everything!

so, the fact that i have no idea if there is a little embryo floating around in my fallopian tubes, on its way to hopefully implant just drives me crazy. sometimes i just wish that finding out if i'm pregnant meant my belly button popping out or turning green, or some totally obvious sign, instead of interpreting the visibility of a pink line on a white background or being totally let down by the evil digital, which seems like it will always proclaim "NOT PREGNANT". Couldn't they make separate tests for those ttc and those tta? A negative for a tta would be "whew!" and a negative for a ttc would be :*-( . sigh.

anyway, i'm in the 2 weeks of waiting, which always seems to take so long. i love it because i'm so full of hope that this month could be the month. i hate it because of the longing and the waiting and the dread of another bfn.