31w5d: down and up and down again

well, i feel like my blog is becoming rather depressing. we never expected to have such a complicated pregnancy.

in the past week i've been hospitalized twice. the first came after a routine growth ultrasound which showed that our baby now has IUGR (intrauterine growth restriction) and he is in the 5% percentile. IUGR is anything below 10%. I stayed in the hospital for a couple days for all OBs to be assured that he was not in distress and for them to give me steroid shots to help his lungs develop just in case he is delivered early. we met with a neonatologist to discuss risks, advantages and milestones depending on when he is delivered. us getting to 32 weeks is the best and biggest first milestone.

i finally got out of the hospital on monday. it was SO nice to be home, snuggle with my kitty, eat good food, and relax. but, we dreaded my appointment on thursday (yesterday) knowing that the ultrasound might show something scary. at the last ultrasound we left the office in tears and they showed us the back exit so we wouldn't scare the waiting pregnant couples. we packed a hospital bag this time thinking that if we planned for something bad to happen maybe it wouldn't happen.

so, thursday's ultrasound showed really low amniotic fluid (a 5 and they want more than a 6). basically the IUGR and the low fluid all point to signs that my placenta isn't working correctly, which is so sad and makes so angry. so, again, off to the hospital for the weekend to monitor the baby (NST 3x a day) and make sure he isn't in distress from the low fluid.

basically the OB has said that they won't let him go past 36 or 37 weeks and because of the IUGR he will most likely end up in the nicu in the beginning. this was really hard for us to come to terms with at first and we felt very emotional about the whole thing.

we are trying to count our blessings. we are trying to get to 32 weeks (this sunday!). we just want our baby to be ok.