things people say

when i was on bedrest, people always told me the same things:

"get some sleep before the baby comes"
"bedrest is so relaxing"
and
"your life will never be the same after the baby"

i never really took them seriously and actually found the comments irritating. usually because these were the same people that told me my belly looked too small to be xx weeks pregnant. how could i get sleep or even relax when the baby's amniotic fluid kept dropping and the umbilical cord kept getting worse! my worst fear was that one day i would wake up and the baby wouldn't be kicking anymore. i spent a lot of time living in fear on bedrest. 13 weeks of fear is a long time. i always thought about the baby and how he was doing, and i was so focused on being pregnant and staying pregnant (count those contractions! don't forget to do kick counts every day!) that the inevitable baby at the end of pregnancy seemed almost unreal.

inevitably, what people said had a glimmer of truth: only now does my bedrest seem totally relaxing, but it is only because i have the hindsight that my baby was born healthy and we made it. my life is not the same as before, but then again, it was dramatically changed by all my pregnancy complications anyway.

this seems totally over dramatic to say, but i feel like i need to and am coming to terms with everything that happened to us during my pregnancy.