second RE appointment

well this weekend started off pretty well. DH and I went to see our RE for the second time on friday afternoon. she reviewed our results (my blood tests, hsg and a recent ct scan) (his second SA). basically we have male factor infertility. we don't know what is causing it (possibly medication DH is on) but we are going to work around it. we are just at the threshold of not being able to do IUI because his count is so low after removal of the badly shaped and immobile buddies. basically i am functioning fine. my anti-mullerian hormone is high but RE says that means i have lots of good quality eggs. it also looks like i am ovulating each month. yay!

one issue:
there was a small spot on my hsg x-ray, somewhere in my right lower abdomen. i went to my GI doctor to have it checked out. she did a CT which came back normal except that the radiologist said i have "a lot of cysts in my ovaries." RE says this is probably because of where i am in my cycle (pre-ovulation). she says that right now my ovaries are talking to each other and trying to become the dominant ovary for this cycle and this is the way they communicate. i expressed my concerns about PCOS and she said that i don't seem to have any symptoms for that besides these cysts, but when they do an ultrasound they will look at my ovaries specificially to see if i they have characteristics of pcos. i had a ultrasound back in june due some abdominal pain and that ultrasound showed no cysts and that everything looked normal.

the plan:
we are going to try to do a natural iui this month. that means that i'm not taking any ovulation drugs like clomid and we're just going to wait for me ovulate on my own to do the iui. i have to wait for a positive opk and then call in the morning of the positive and they are going to schedule me for an iui the next day. The only problem may be that we are leaving for christmas vacation around the time I am expected to ovulate. We're hoping that the timing will work out well and that we will be able to do the iui a day before we leave. So, i'm hoping to get a positive opk early or right on time. But, of course it is hard to ovulate when you are stressed about ovulating! there is also the chance that DH's count will be too low after the wash and they will recommend to cancel the iui.

RE said that the chances of us getting pregnant on our own is less than 1% with DH's count. isn't that totally insane? but with IUI it would go up to between 5-10%. thats not much better. with IVF + ICSI (where they put the sperm directly into the egg) it would be a 65% chance. i can't believe how high that is! i felt like jumping on the IVF+ICSI train until DH reminded me that one IVF cycle costs $20k and there is a 35% chance it won't work. So, it is better to save the big guns for later, after we have worn out our other options.

sometimes i just can't believe how easy it is for everyone else to get pregnant. sometimes i just can't believe the lengths i went to in order to not get pregnant.

here's to hoping i ovulate early or on-time! :D