BFN. 12dpo.
i tested first thing this morning. i am so sad that it isn't positive. i know it could be too early, but i am extremely doubtful considering that in the 1-1/2 years that we've been trying I've never had a positive pregnancy test.
i told DH and he was sad too. we both feel so frustrated that it has been almost 2 years of trying and nothing has happened. we need to get a new SA for him to see if anything has changed (at both IUIs this month his count was way up). but i'm feeling like even if his SA comes out totally normal i'm feeling like i can't take this anymore and need to do IVF.
i am so sad inside talking to others about their babies, their children and their pregnancies. it pulls at my heart to see all of their pictures, to watch their babies get big and start walking, knowing that i want what they have so badly and that it just isn't happening.
i wish today was saturday so that i could mope around the house, go do something fun, or treat myself with a day of shopping. but no, it is friday, and i am going to have to put on my happy face and try to get through work today.
1097th Friday Blog Roundup
10 hours ago
Mrs. R. - so so sorry. I guess misery loves company as my HPT on Friday morning also showed a BFN (at equivalent 16dpo) which means our second IVF was a bust. I so understand how you are feeling right now, putting a brave face for everyone around when all that you want is just crawl in bed and cry your eyes out until the heart doesn't hurt anymore. I so wish that you never ever have to experience this feeling again, and that your next cycle will finally bring you a long awaited BFP. I've never had one, but I know that they exist (I've seen them on other blogs). Good luck!!!
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