up next, IVF

i haven't been posting to try to keep my mind off of how things are going and because we've had a lot going on recently. to get back up to date, here's what has been going on:

IUI #3
we did a double and got WAY better count post-wash than ever before! this was exciting. and what was also exciting was that at my day 14 ultrasound they saw two large follicles on my left ovary (yes, they were able to find it this time) that were at 19 mm and 20 mm. and this time ovulation hurt so much more than usual.  but, we were so happy that they were able to finally verify that i don't have pcos and that i'm ovulating. unfortunately though, this cycle ended in a bfn. i felt really numb and we reluctantly made an appointment to see our RE, since she didn't want us doing more than 3 IUIs.

Taking a Break
Between our third IUI and our upcoming RE appointment we were able to take a month off and focus on other things going on. This was sort of sad though, because even though I knew I most likely wouldn't get pregnant, I still hoped that my period wouldn't show. Unfortunately, it did and here we are at the start of another month. The RE appointment isn't for a couple weeks so I'm going to see if the RE will let us do another IUI in the meantime.

We fully expect that at the RE appointment she is going to say that we need to do IVF-ICSI. I am excited to do IVF because it means that we actually have a chance at this and that we will have little embryos. I am scared because I worry that they won't stick or that there is something wrong with my body that we don't know yet because I've never gotten a positive pregnancy test. But, the idea of a baby actually happening, of us having a child, of me being pregnant, makes me so happy and excited, like our life is finally going to fall into place.