7 weeks

life is finally getting a little bit easier with a newborn (or perhaps i'm just more used to it?). Little R is almost 2 months old and is sleeping longer at night (i hope i don't jinx us by saying that) and I'm started to feel less exhausted.

We're still breastfeeding and I'm still pumping. We're still doing "triple feeding" where I breastfeed and then bottle feed, but we've begun to wean him off the bottle, so now I am only pumping 2x a day and we are slowly decreasing the amount of milk in the bottle. Only pumping twice a day has made my life so much easier! It was so hard to do it after every feed. Whats awesome now is that I have extra milk and I've been able to freeze about 10oz a day so I'm starting to build up a nice stash in the freezer for when I go back to work.

Little R is getting bigger and bigger! He is now past 9lbs and we're so happy that he is growing so well.

I'm also going through some postpartum depression and anxiety. It mainly started in the hospital about two days after I delivered. I went from feeling exhilarated and happy to feeling scared and very anxious where my heart would race and race and I couldn't sleep. It was horrible. I felt like I was crashing and slowly sinking into a dark hole. I ended up getting some counseling and was put on zoloft. After about a week I finally started feeling better, still not myself, but definitely on my way. Now I'm starting to feel more like myself. Before delivering I thought PPD/PPA wouldn't happen to me. I felt like having a healthy happy baby would be the fairy tale ending and we would walk off into the sunset. But as it turns out having a complicated pregnancy and going through infertility actually makes it more likely to suffer from PPD/PPA.

Anyway, baby is waking up and needs to be fed... more soon!